Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Faux Lagerfeld

Please shut up. I am very busy and important.
Have you seen this yet? It's a blog maintained by a fake Karl Lagerfeld. I return time and again to the same five or six Karl soundbytes, but now I get to browse a virtual treasure trove of quotables. If you ever wondered what would happen if you put Karl Lagerfeld's brain on an IV drip connected to a microblogging outlet, this is what would inevitably result.
"I am going to construct a building site, that is what I'm going to do. No building, just a building site. I love the smell. All those pretty builders."
You know how they say it takes a foreigner to bring out the potential whimsy of a mother tongue? Actually, I don't know if they say that, but I imagine that this is true and accounts for our fascination with malaprop and Borat. Anyway, Karl Lagerfeld is about as foreign as it gets. He simply is out of control out of this world.

Fake Karl is like the imagined terrain of the Lagerverse. Meandering, clueless, dismissive and endearing. Can you tell the difference between real and fake Karl? Let me rephrase that: do you want to?